I’m Teaching My Sons These 5 Life Skills—Here’s Why

Before ever becoming pregnant, I envisioned myself as a girl mom. I was enamored with the idea of raising a strong daughter who can also embrace her softness. However, I became a mom to two sweet boys instead. I thought I had to reframe my original goals when I got pregnant with my first son, but after five years of being a boy mom, I’ve realized that the end goal is still the same. My desire for my sons is that they learn the life skills needed to be resilient yet kind adults regardless of their gender.

Now that we have boys, we have the distinct opportunity to show them a family that pitches in anywhere and everywhere regardless of what the “norm” is. This is especially important in a modern age where countless basic life skills are lost in younger generations. With this goal in mind, we started teaching our sons independence very early. Here are the five life skills we’re teaching our boys:

Source: Alexandra Pagar Wolf

1. Working with others as a team

When it comes to teaching them life skills, one of the most important lessons I want them to learn is how to work well with others as part of a team. That’s why we’ve decided to sign our 5-year-old up for Cub Scouts. The Scouting America program encourages kindness and working towards common goals, all of which help turn a kid’s natural competitive edge into a passion for collaborating with others. Cub Scouts fosters an environment where both boys and girls learn to value their contributions without the pressure to always come out on top, which I think is invaluable for building healthy relationships and emotional resilience.

Through Scouting, my son will have the chance to experience teamwork in a balanced and supportive setting. It’s not just about winning or losing—it’s about helping others and growing as a community. Cub Scouts gives kids the opportunity to be leaders and followers through countless activities and workshops they’ll remember forever (like camping, rocket launching, coding, and more). It’s a safe space for little ones to learn that success isn’t always individual but often a team effort. Scouting America also offers incredible flexibility, so it’ll fit perfectly within our already busy schedule. I highly recommend Cub Scouts to parents who want their kids in an environment that teaches a wide range of life skills that’ll last into adulthood.

Find a Cub Scout Pack near you to learn more!

2. Communicating Basic Needs

These life skills for kids start from day one, in my opinion. As a naturally talkative person myself, I’ve been chatting with my kids since they were in the womb. I also taught them some sign language when they were infants since non-verbal communication is equally important for language development. We’ve also been consistent about narrating our actions, reading books daily, and verbalizing our feelings. It’s my belief that all of this effort will (hopefully) result in young men who know how to identify their emotions and speak their desires clearly.

Now that our sons are 4 and 5, we’re starting to see success with his communication skills because, frankly, now we can’t get them to stop talking (lol). They’re very clear about their needs and leave little room for misunderstandings. Now that vocabulary is growing well, we’re introducing the concept of tone and inflection. How you say things matters, and manners matter. So we not only correct him when they make “demands,” but we try to set that example for him as well. “Can I please have another snack?” This one’s probably gonna take way longer to set in, but we gotta start somewhere, right?

3. Maintaining a Bathroom

Most parents can agree that potty training is truly the beast of toddlerhood. Nearly nothing will make you want to pull your hair out more than a 2.5-year-old who’s running laps around your kitchen because they refuse to sit and empty their bladder. It would take approximately 15 seconds to just get it over with, but they would rather put it off for another half hour in discomfort—toddler math.

We’re now finally on the other side of potty training; however, I’ve realized that we traded dirty diapers for dirty toilet seats. So our next lesson: clean it up. There are now four people sharing bathrooms, so they contribute to the upkeep just like the adults. Right now it’s just wiping off the seat, putting it back down (very important), and restocking toilet paper, but eventually, we’ll get to the deep cleaning once they’re old enough.

scouting america life skills for my son
Source: Alexandra Pagar Wolf

4. Putting Away Clothes

Washing three loads of clothes? Simple. Putting three loads of clothes away? Impossible. This skill is partly for his benefit and partly for ours. But what I’ve learned is that kids actually enjoy learning new things, especially things that they consistently watch their parents do. The first time we taught our oldest how to fold pants and put hangers in his shirts, his face lit up. He was so excited that he accomplished this seemingly small thing. Now he gets pumped when he sees the bag of clean laundry in front of his room. I know it won’t be exciting when he’s 13 and would rather play video games, but at least it will be a chore he’s accustomed to doing.

5. Setting and Respecting Boundaries

This is a vital skill that every human should learn from a young age, but boys especially. Their introduction to consent and boundaries began with our family pets. Babies are naturally curious and affectionate, so we knew they would eventually try grabbing doggie tails, but we always repeated the same phrase: “No, give them space.” When they were old enough to understand how to be gentle, we would show them how to get permission by observing the dog’s body language and letting them decide if they wanted affection (which is a resounding yes most of the time).

We also applied the same concepts to physical games like tickling and wrestling. If the boys made any sort of protest, we immediately stopped and asked for permission before continuing. They both need to understand other people’s boundaries and their own to have successful friendships and relationships with others. Some moments are certainly more successful than others, but it’s a life skill I am 100 percent committed to teaching and reminding them of no matter how old they get.

ally pagar-wolf

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Alexandra Pagar Wolf, Chief of Sales

Ally is the mom to two rambunctious boys, ages 4 and 5, and is rightfully referred to as “Chief Household Officer” in her home. You can find her family spending long afternoons swimming in their pool, searching for sea glass at the New England shore, and going on fun outdoor adventures.

This post contains a sponsored inclusion of Scouting America, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everymom editorial board. We only recommend products we genuinely love.

 

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